Psalm 103:10 - He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities.
This is something to be very thankful for. Our sins are greater than we believe or acknowledge. Not a day goes by that we don't sin in some way. It's inherent...that rebelliousness, that self-centeredness, that stubbornness. What a word this was for me this morning. God has not dealt with us according to our sins. If we are believers and followers of Christ, despite our sins He does not dispense the punishment we deserve. How can He do that? For us it's all about our pride. It's all about our feelings. So often when we've been hurt or angered by someone don't we sometimes cry out for justice with words or angry thoughts? He doesn't do that. I know His ways are not like ours and I know that His thoughts aren't like ours. How CAN we be more like Christ with these things creeping in?
This weekend I lost the peace that God had granted me late last week. It grew slowly throughout the day and without warning struck. I don't think I even realized what was happening. All I remember is my mind fading and going blank then feeling like I was in this long tunnel of darkness with no end. I had tunnel vision on the circumstance. I remember weeping in my car and crying out to God, "What happened to the peace You gave me? Why did it go? Why did I let it happen?" And then pleading, "Please bring my peace back. I want that peace again." How 48 hours could change what I had settled in my heart. I know how the change came about. I know who caused it. I know who wanted to steal that peace. And I knew Who to run to for help. Unfortunately, for a couple hours I struggled with that turmoil, not being able to let it go.
I allowed sin to enter into my spirit and uproot the peace. I'm thankful for a God who knew this would happen before it did. I'm thankful for a God who saw me rant and rave and then settle down but did not get angry or disown me. I'm thankful for a God who hears me cry out in anguish over a circumstance I have no control over. I'm thankful for a God who accepts my apology and forgives, despite the unhealthy display of anger and words. What I still can't understand is how I allowed it? It was not something I wanted to do.
I hope this is a lesson for next time. What did I learn? How will I handle the next one, because I know there will be a "next one." Thank the Lord He knows our sinful natures and allows us to ask for forgiveness over and over. Isn't that part of what communion with God is all about anyway? It's the humility we experience in the presence of an awesome God and our ability to humble ourselves before Him...coming just as we are....and asking for forgiveness. Lord, I thank You and I do ask for forgiveness. I ask for Your strength the endure the "next one."
Psalm 103:11-12 - For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
This is something to be very thankful for. Our sins are greater than we believe or acknowledge. Not a day goes by that we don't sin in some way. It's inherent...that rebelliousness, that self-centeredness, that stubbornness. What a word this was for me this morning. God has not dealt with us according to our sins. If we are believers and followers of Christ, despite our sins He does not dispense the punishment we deserve. How can He do that? For us it's all about our pride. It's all about our feelings. So often when we've been hurt or angered by someone don't we sometimes cry out for justice with words or angry thoughts? He doesn't do that. I know His ways are not like ours and I know that His thoughts aren't like ours. How CAN we be more like Christ with these things creeping in?
This weekend I lost the peace that God had granted me late last week. It grew slowly throughout the day and without warning struck. I don't think I even realized what was happening. All I remember is my mind fading and going blank then feeling like I was in this long tunnel of darkness with no end. I had tunnel vision on the circumstance. I remember weeping in my car and crying out to God, "What happened to the peace You gave me? Why did it go? Why did I let it happen?" And then pleading, "Please bring my peace back. I want that peace again." How 48 hours could change what I had settled in my heart. I know how the change came about. I know who caused it. I know who wanted to steal that peace. And I knew Who to run to for help. Unfortunately, for a couple hours I struggled with that turmoil, not being able to let it go.
I allowed sin to enter into my spirit and uproot the peace. I'm thankful for a God who knew this would happen before it did. I'm thankful for a God who saw me rant and rave and then settle down but did not get angry or disown me. I'm thankful for a God who hears me cry out in anguish over a circumstance I have no control over. I'm thankful for a God who accepts my apology and forgives, despite the unhealthy display of anger and words. What I still can't understand is how I allowed it? It was not something I wanted to do.
I hope this is a lesson for next time. What did I learn? How will I handle the next one, because I know there will be a "next one." Thank the Lord He knows our sinful natures and allows us to ask for forgiveness over and over. Isn't that part of what communion with God is all about anyway? It's the humility we experience in the presence of an awesome God and our ability to humble ourselves before Him...coming just as we are....and asking for forgiveness. Lord, I thank You and I do ask for forgiveness. I ask for Your strength the endure the "next one."
Psalm 103:11-12 - For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Thank you for sharing your heart...for being real...for being honest with yourself. Just when we think we are "there" He allows us to see in ourselves what He wants us to bring under His authority...and it always hurts!!!
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