The F Word

Matthew 6:14-15 - "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But, if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

My, my, my, this past weekend was filled with the F word...forgiveness. We are commanded to forgive.  Twice this weekend I got a hefty dose of the healing capability of forgiveness.  What I heard was confirmation of what I had written to a friend earlier that week about forgiving someone.

This friend is divorced for good reasons. Her ex has been trying to get on the good side of his children ever since but comes and goes in their lives. I believe the children have forgiven him, but my friend probably has not. It might be that he's at an age where he has finally come to grips with what he's done, or not done, in his life and how he's been a fool all these years and wasted his life. Maybe God has finally gotten hold of him spiritually.  

She asked for my advice. I don't know why she chose me when she's been a follower of Christ a lot longer than I have. She says she hasn't anyone where she lives to talk to. And not having been in a situation like hers, I'm not sure how I would react at first myself.  

He's begun attending the same church, to be with the children and grandchildren. She's remarried.  And she's uncomfortable with this situation to say the least and considering looking for another church after all these years.

This I know, we are told to love our neighbors and when our enemy does wrong to us, we are not to retaliate. 1Peter 3:9 says we are not to return evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. We are to do good to them. Kill them with kindness, as it were - Romans 12:20 - Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head."

Running from any problem doesn't take care of it. I believe we are to work through them. I know we all hang on to things that we need to let go of...things that we need to ask God to help us overcome. Sometimes we can hang on to anger, bitterness and hurt that comes from a broken relationship.  But God is greater than any problem we have.  

This weekend I listened twice to an evangelist, Nicky Cruz. First he preached on emptiness in our lives which brings on some of the problems we might face. He was totally empty in his life because his mother abandoned him, but not before, beating him, telling him he was worthless and a son of the devil.  His life was filled with anger and he got in with the wrong crowd on the streets of New York City. He headed up a gang and was filled with rage, like an animal, he claims. When a preacher named David Wilkerson confronted him by telling him Jesus loved him, he laughed and threatened the pastor telling him he would cut him into thousands of little pieces. Wilkerson gently told him, "Even if you do, each one of those thousands of pieces would cry out, 'Jesus loves you.'" With that Cruz gave his life to Jesus.

Sunday morning at church, Nicky preached on forgiveness and retold the story about how when he started living for the Lord he was summoned by his family to go back to Puerto Rico because his mother was dying.  He went but hated the sight of where he had lived, hated the sight of his dying mother.  The anger and bitterness and hurt that he had felt as a child came back. But he reached out to her and with no feeling of forgiveness told her he forgave her. He kept pointing out that he felt no forgiveness at all. But in time God began to do a work in his until a transformation took place. He was able to forgive his mother and mean it.  He explained how the pain of his past melted away. He explained how he led his mother, father and some of his brothers to Jesus after that. And his mother, who was dying, lived another 25 years...all by the love and power of God in their lives.  

Yes, Christ forgives us and we are admonished to forgive others in the same way.  Unforgiveness gnaws at us.  It hurts the one with the unforgiveness more than the other person(s).  Jesus harbored no resentment against those who killed him.  He asked God to forgive them while He was on the cross.  He pardoned one thief who hung next to Him because that man realized he was guilty of his crime and deserved to die, but knew Jesus was not--and he asked Jesus to forgive him.  

Who's to say that God won't constantly bring our unforgiveness before us until we do the right thing?  Forgiving someone, no matter how long ago the situation, has got to be the hardest thing a person can do. It's the darn pride thing again. But just imagine the freedom you'll have once it's over. I've heard about hardened hearts softening completely with the words of forgiveness. One needs to be the initiator, even if it's not that person's fault. The process has to start somewhere. Maybe the other person will not receive, but you've let go of that unforgiveness and you can begin to heal. We can't change another person, but we can change ourselves. We can change our thoughts and our actions and words. God will be the ultimate judge of the one who has done wrong. If we hang on to unforgiveness, we'll get judged ourselves for not giving it up.  

All of us have been hurt by someone. I wonder myself if I have truly let go of some. I don't feel I harbor deep set anger for anyone. I remember the distance I had with my own father, an alcoholic. I'd see him as little as possible. I came into relationship with Jesus Christ about five months before finding out my dad had Alzheimer's. I know it was God's perfect timing. I was able to reconnect with him in his last years. Through that reconnection my disappointment with him faded and if there was any unforgiveness, it melted away.  

God knows our hearts and He knows what we going through or have gone through. He knows any resentment we harbor. And, most importantly, He knows the freedom, healing, renewal and refreshment of giving it to Him and asking forgiveness--even if we haven't caused the strife in the first place. If someone has hurt you, you can to say to them, "I'm sorry you feel that way (or think that) but I'm choosing to forgive you."  

I think when we finally figure out what God wants us to do and we do it, He will have the biggest smile on his face.  

Psalm 103:8-12 - The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.