This is a bit like cheating. Preparing for foot surgery, I was cleaning up some stuff in our computer room. I found some folded sheets of paper and curious, I looked. As I read the pages I thought it might be something to share here. There was no date, but this is something that could have happened years ago or yesterday. Here's what I'd written:
I have been dealing with a situation for the past few weeks that has since been resolved and I thought I would write it down.
I have been really delving in the Word and digging deep for answers lately. I think it's paying off. However, I'm also certain that because of this, I've being fed insecurities and lies, which can happen when we're getting closer to the Lord. The enemy would just love to have us believe what we've learned is useless and he would love to see us revert back to our old selves. An old self sin cropped up.
This sin was one which I'd thought was long since over because it had not been present in my life for awhile, suddenly popped back in in the matter of seconds! Yet it took nearly a day to realize what had happened. It was based on old insecurities--and I do emphasize the word OLD. I'm a new person with a new life and a new outlook--and new faith and strength--in Christ.
I had not heard from a friend for a long time and had heard some things in the meantime that bothered me. When we don't know the truth our imaginations can run wild. I tried to rationalize the whole situation but still hung on to my joy knowing that it would never be taken away, no matter how much I hurt inside. I believe without my consciously knowing, I had never stopped thinking about it. Days went by and I withdrew from the issue at hand, afraid to even approach God with it probably because I hurt too much.(That's the time one should immediately go to God.) Eventually my thoughts were turned toward how to resolve the issue with the Lord's help. I began to talk to Him and bear my feelings openly with Him.
It wasn't until one evening while I was driving home from somewhere that God spoke to me. Again, His voice was not audible, but like a very prominent thought in a "voice" that I knew was not my own speaking to my spirit. His words were so plain, so gentle and so comforting. "Don't worry about your friends. You only need Me."
I knew in an instant it was God and He was just waiting for me to release those thoughts and feelings I'd been harboring to Him. I asked for forgiveness for not doing so sooner.
When I returned home my husband told me I had gotten a call from someone but she didn't leave a message. And he didn't tell me who it was. Thank God for caller ID! It was my friend who'd been on my mind! And the time she called was about the same time I'd heard from the Lord in my car. That truly amazes me.
Of course I called her right back and we talked for two hours. My fears and insecurities were banished. God is faithful, He is loving and kind. He cares for each of us and patiently waits for us to draw ourselves near to Him. He already knows what's in our thoughts and hearts but there are times when He just wants us to sit with Him and share these thoughts with Him.
Yes, our God is alive and very present to those who seek Him. Anyone can call upon the name of the Lord as long as it is within His will. He will renew our strength, He will guide us, comfort us and grant us the wisdom for any circumstance. He loves us to come to Him like I did...and He knows what distresses us. He wants to ease our burdens. I admitted my failure in not coming to Him sooner and although I may have waited to go to Him, when I did He responded so lovingly.
James 4:8, 10 - Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded...Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
"You only need Me." Oh, how true ... it is not about our friends, yet when we only need Him, He gives us true friends!
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