Another Cracked Pot

Psalm 31:12 - I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind; I am like a broken vessel.

This is how I felt for a day or two last week. Insecurities loomed. The idea of being alone was my friend...and worst enemy. And what does the enemy of my soul relish in? My insecurities. Who am I in Christ? Certainly not what I think I am...or what anyone else might think I am. I am in Christ and, therefore, no lesser nor greater than anyone else. In and through Jesus, I am who I am and no one can take that away. No one can talk that out of me, no matter how hard they want to. 

What cracked pots we are, aren't we all? Insecurity, too much security, too much pride, desiring too much control, wanting too much attention, too much complaining, too much a victim, fearing too much, always wanting the left hand to know what the right is doing. Oh, how we are all in need of a Savior. Some of these words were what I sent to an internet friend in Indiana! 

I admit...I was having a bad day and feeling so very insecure as I poured my heart out to her in a long email. Somehow it made me feel a bit better getting things off my chest. She listens (reads) and comments (writes). 

I have questioned myself how God can sit in the heavenlies on His great and glorious throne and look down upon us and see us, those who say we are in Christ, and wonder at how we can still be imperfect. It's almost like He has to turn a blind eye. But I know that's not what He does. Because His blood has covered us, He sees us who we can be. Our strength is only in Him. When we lose that strength it is important to get it back!

Since then I have been reminded how we are to be filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) and then it dawned on me, this is how he can look at us in our imperfect natures...because those are also God's nature. He exudes all these things. So why is it so hard sometimes to have all these qualities? Because we are imperfect. We are cracked pots. Some just don't vocalize it.

I see the cracks in my nature. And the beauty is...Jesus covered those cracks and flaws. He wants to fix our pots! His blood was poured out for me. And all I needed to do was receive the gift of Jesus into my heart for that to happen. There are still cracks in this old pot! I wonder often if the cracks will fill in or whether the pot will fall apart? Either way, God has a plan for fixing those cracks, whether it's mending them or starting all over from scratch on the Potter's wheel.

That's why Jesus is who He is. That's why we need to seek Him in the midst of our troubles instead of writing emails! I wonder how many others occasionally feel so ashamed of how they feel they can't go to the Lord? And I wonder how much He is saddened by that? At some time in each of our lives, whether we want to believe it or not, we are all cracked pots. Absolutely no one is exempt. 

Others may consider me less interesting or less knowledgeable, but I AM NOT inferior in Jesus' eyes. He is jealous after me. Just as others are His child, so I am. That cannot be taken away from me. He sees beyond my flaws and I'm so thankful. Doesn't matter what others think. Praise God for that! He's the only One who matters.

There are times when all I want is to be alone with the Lord. Alone, secluded and secure in Him. To relish in His presence, to listen to Him speak, to know that when others fail me, He will be there. He will strengthen me and gently, or strongly, rebuke my thoughts or actions. He will turn the thoughts around to His words and not my own or those of others. 

I love the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind. It may not show the same way as someone else, but I know in the recesses of my soul that I do. I know that I am His and He is mine. Do I still have work that needs to be done in me...yes, absolutely. I will trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding in that regard. Do I want a quick work? Another absolutely. I've waited a long time and I know there's a long time yet ahead of me. No matter what others think, the One who knows, the One who loves unconditionally, the One who will not leave me nor forsake me, is the One I will trust. 

So what happened to the woman who speaks of trusting the Lord? She's still inside. The old insecurities creep up time and again. As I thought about this I know I heard the still small voice within my spirit saying I never said it would be easy. If they rejected me they will reject you. It's your cross to bear. This was not a purposely hard word; just an honest one. Have I gone to the Lord since? Oh, yes. And as if he read my mind, a pastor early Sunday morning spoke these words in prayer: Whatever you have gone through, hold your head high and walk in the Spirit. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but we have a victorious Savior who has gone through it all. 

Thank you, Lord, for your love which is far greater than anyone else can give. Thank You for Your kindness and patience. Thank You for whispers of encouragement when they are needed most. Thank You that You are the Master Potter and that the cracks in my pot will be mended only by You. You know which cracks are most critically in need of repair. Take this old pot and mend it. Break it into bits if You must to start from scratch. Just mend it!

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. For in You, O LORD, I hope; You will hear, O Lord my God. (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 38:15)