Pushing Buttons

Esther 5:2 - So it was, when the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, that she found favor in his sight, and the king held out to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand. Then Esther went near and touched the top of the scepter. 

Preparing for a Bible study on the Book of Esther, I was moved by the words above. It is a reminder of what I am able to do as a child of God, coheirs with the King. It is a reminder that when we are in the will of God, we find favor in His sight. He reaches out His scepter toward us and allows us into His presence.

Esther had a daunting task ahead of her. She needed to confront her husband, King Xerxes of Persia, of the impending annihilation of the Jews, of which she was one, although he did not know this fact. God had placed her in this position as queen of Persia for this very purpose. This is what God does for each one of us when we are in relationship with Him. Each day might bring about our own circumstance where God might want us to do something or say something that will show His glory in our lives and perhaps change a situation. It's not about us, it's about Him working through us. And with this thought, we must realize that it's not a prideful thing we might have to do. It's God's will.

So often we are confronted with a situation where we should say something, but sometimes we don't. We're basically afraid of what others will think of us. We're afraid of the backlash, of losing friends or family for speaking what we know is the truth. This is where Esther was. But she knew she had to face her fears. She had to "do it afraid."

Esther had fasted for three days in preparation for a meeting with the king. She dolled herself up in her royal robes knowing that seeing him without permission could mean her death because she had not been summoned. But what difference did it make? If she didn't speak to the king about the plans to kill all the Jews, she would have died just the same. What did she have to lose? Once the conviction was apparent, she said to her cousin, "Go, gather all the Jews who are present in Shushan, and fast for me; neither eat nor drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will fast likewise. And so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish?" Esther 4:16.

Thankfully, this is not the way it is with our God, our King. He longs for us to come into His presence. 

Esther did not know what would happen when she met with the king and petitioned him. She stood for what she believed was right and whatever the consequences, she was prepared for the outcome.

God asks us to have the same type of confidence. He wants us to do His will. Sometimes that's speaking up especially when we aren't so sure of ourselves. He wants us to realize that when we do, He will be behind us in our actions and words. It's overcoming that fear that gets some of us.

I write this blog often. I believe it was God's idea in my little brain years ago. He allowed me to cogitate on the idea awhile and then presented me with the opportunity to develop it. Even to this day I wonder if what I have written is good enough, if I've misspoken or misinterpreted something in His Word. I probably have made some mistakes but I may learn from them. I can push the "preview" button over and over, but when it comes time to tap the "publish" button, I still cringe.

It isn't until I've received a response from someone, which happens occasionally, that I've touched someone's heart that day, that I think to myself, "see, it wasn't so bad after all." Maybe those are my words; maybe they're God's subtle reassurance. I don't know for sure. But don't we all have times when we think we have erred and boy, if we don't feel a burden or embarrassed or ashamed...even angry with ourselves for doing or saying something? This is not what God would want us to feel if we know we have done His will. This is what our enemy, the devil, brings to the surface of our minds...to defeat us...to cause us to quit...to cause us to believe we're not worthy... Oh, that dang devil!!

This particular day's Esther study had these words written from Beth Moore, the author of the study:  Our conditional trust not only makes us an open target for enemy torment; it also positions us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children who trust their lives to their faithful Father. Those times when our fears become reality we feel devastated. We thing God is unfaithful, and Satan essentially gets what he wants--us to believe that life is over. We need to hold fast to the idea that we can trust God.

When we fear to speak or do, we are out of God's will. If we speak or do when we know we should, He is right there behind us. We fear, like I said, the backlash of our words and what others will feel about us. But we never know if what we might say might bring life to someone else. We may never find out about it, but if we've been obedient to the Lord, that's all that matters. I'm still in the process of learning about all this. I'm still hanging on to my insecurity, and not just about my blog, but about life circumstances.

I will probably always have a trepidation about pushing that "publish" button. But God will never cause something we do in His will to fail. We may not always know the purpose for a word we speak...or write...or what it has to do with anything in the grand scheme of things, but He does. Sometimes He will allow us to realize what that purpose was, other times not. It should not matter to us; it's not about us after all.

Getting back to spending time with God, He is willing to listen to our requests. Just our presence before Him causes Him delight. When we enter into His presence and make requests that are of His will, He is more likely to respond. We can't enter His presence and expect that every silly thing we'd wish we could have will be granted. (When I was a youngster I would fall asleep at night praying that I would awake with skinny legs...hah, never happened!) Esther's husband, the king, was delighted in her presence and although she came without his permission, he was well pleased. These might be the words of an elated King Xerxes for Esther, but no doubt they are God's words to us when we enter in and present a meaningful request:

Esther 5:3 - And the king said to her, "What do you wish, Queen Esther? What is your request? It shall be given to you--up to half the kingdom!" 

I'm pressing the "publish" button now!