What Defines a Good Relationship?

  Matthew 15:8-9 - "'These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men."'

     I know I've written about this before. I wrote this blog last week. And oddly enough yesterday, being Valentine's Day, the message Pastor Paul gave was about relationships. But first things first....

     I was thinking about the content of this blog in my car after dropping a friend off at the Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix last week, after all conversation was done and the silence settled in.
     I've said it before: A good relationship comes about from or with communication and spending time with one another. We all have family and friends (not necessarily in that order) we relate to in some way. It can be good or not so good at times. One relationship that continually needs cultivating, however, is our relationship with our Heavenly Father. It means changing who we are. Unfortunately there are several denominations which don't talk about a relationship with God.
     Jesus never really comes right out and specifically says it's not about religion but a relationship, but I know it's hidden in the things He did throughout His ministry on earth. He's all about relationship. He's all about truth. He's all about life. He's all about His saving grace. Mark 8:36 - For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? In other words, what is so important in this world that we would rather have IT than Jesus?

     Religion deals with keeping rules and obeying laws. Relationship is being set free from the rules and laws, not that they aren't important, but understanding that we can never perfectly keep these rules or laws, but a relationship with Jesus, sets us free from that...it's all about what Jesus did for us so when we fail we can be forgiven. When we are in relationship with Jesus, we change...we want to spend time with Him. That's relationship.

     One story that comes to mind about relationship over religion (and laws) is the one about the Samaritan woman. There's just so much insight in this one short visitation by Jesus. Jesus knew all about her and confronted her about her sins. She was amazed at all He knew (like He knows all about us) and she went on to point out that she was a Samaritan woman and He was a Jew and Jews don't associate with Samaritans... Jesus wasn't worried about the religious rules here; He was only interested in a relationship. He wanted her to know Truth. He wanted her to be in relationship with Him so she could be forgiven of all her sins. He wanted her to drink of the Living Water (that also is Jesus) so she would never thirst again. So He met her at the well.

     And actually, Jesus does this relational thing all throughout His ministry. The religious leaders of His day rejected Jesus because He didn't adhere to their rules. His way of doing things came from listening to His Father, not man. Do we listen to what a man or a church's set of rules dictate or do we listen to what our Father in Heaven tells us through His Son? Are the church leaders teaching us about Truth? Jesus didn't care what the religious leaders thought about the timing of the miracles He performed. He only cared about the people and setting them free from disease, handicaps and sin (which included all the religious laws). He didn't care what day of the week it was; He only cared that His Father was telling Him to heal this person.... 

     Jesus doesn't tell us that our religion saves us. It's a relationship that does...a relationship with Him. It's about listening to Him and what He has to tell us we are to do ... Lose your earthly life and gain your eternal one. Who wouldn't like to have that sort of security?
     He tells us that when we are in relationship with Him we are changed. And that means for the better. One cannot believe they are saved and then live any old way. We must shrug off those things that held us captive. If we had addictions, even mildly, the change should help us overcome these things. When temptation strikes we should have more strength through the power of God to not let temptation rule.
     It is in a relationship with Him that we realize what the Way, the Truth and the Life is. It's life changing, mind altering (in a very good way). We are saved from our old selves and the sin that we have lived with. I had a friend who couldn't understand why I needed to change just because "I found God." All I could say was it just happens...when it's for real, the old person begins this change...not always so drastically or all at once, but enough. For some it's a greater change immediately than others.
     Not all things change all at once but we should be cognizant of our nature and be aware of the Holy Spirit's promptings. Genesis 35:2 tells us basically what we are to do: "Put away the foreign gods that are among you, purify yourselves, and change your garments." This means, according to a Bible commentary by John Gill, renewing the mind, cleansing the soul, and changing of heart and life. In Matthew 18:3 Jesus tells us "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." That's Jesus speaking, not me. Change is losing the old man and taking on the new. That only happens when we give our lives to Jesus and get in relationship with Him. 
     I know it's a difficult idea to get situated in our head, heart and soul. It's something you can't just let pass quickly through your mind. It's something you need to take the time to think about. It's something a relationship with the Lord begins to cause to happen. Any relationship requires change. It requires putting aside some of your own ideas and allowing new ones to enter in. It's a two way street. When there's no change, relationship fizzles.
     Yes there are rules we are to abide by...and actions and words we should consider changing for the good. This all comes about when a relationship is priority over a religion, when we desire to know personally the Man who died for us over a religion merely talks about the Man or fails to lead us to that Man. The following scriptures give us a good idea of what giving our life to Christ is all about and what happens when we do. It brings us into intimate relationship with a Man who calls us His friend.

Ephesians 3:12 - In Whom, because of our faith in Him, we dare to have the boldness (courage and confidence) of free access (an unreserved approach to God with freedom and without fear).

John 15:13, 15 - Greater love has no one than this,than to lay down one's life for his friends [which Jesus did for us]. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends....