No More Than Heart and Soul

1Samuel 16:7 - ..."Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

I wish I could point out how many times it is written that God uses the weak, uneducated, base, lesser, etc., individuals to promote Himself. What does this tell us? Proverbs is filled with words on pride and fools and our own highly inflated interpretation of ourselves.

Israel wanted a king. They were tired of the priests judging the people. They wanted to be like all the other nations. Isn't that so like the world? We want to be like the next person, the next country...or better. Have more, be bigger, more influential. Power, wealth, notoriety. All those things that God looks down at.

So Israel wanted kings. And God gave them to her. Not all the kings were 100% dedicated to God. So God was angry at Himself (sort of) for having chosen Saul as king. He started out fine but ended up disobedient and God took away his power. He knew who He wanted and He went for it.

David was the next in line. Samuel, the last judge of Israel and prophet, was to anoint him behind Saul's back. He went, by God's orders, to the family of Jesse to meet all his sons. One after another they came before Samuel. After meeting the first son and noticing his grand appearance, God spoke the scripture above. Isaiah prophesied that Jesus would come through the lineage of Jesse: there shall come forth a Rod (Jesus) from the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots. (Isaiah 11:1).  David needed to be chosen as part of God's plan.

After seeing those sons of Jesse, none of which were right for the job, and knowing God had a son of Jesse who would be king, Samuel asked if there were more. Jesse replied there was another, his youngest son, a shepherd. He was called to come forward from his sheep. When Samuel saw him God told him to anoint him for he was the one, David. There was absolutely no indication that Samuel thought otherwise. He just did as he was told!

The power of God left Saul and he required comforting. It was suggested that David be brought in to play his harp because he would be able to relieve his stress...and the LORD was with him. Thus began God's plan of introducing David as Saul's replacement as king.

David was young, a shepherd, not built up in the things of war. He tended sheep, played a harp and his weapon of choice was a slingshot. What kind of man like this could be used as king? Only God knows! God did not look at the outward appearance, for sure, but at his heart. It was his heart, totally devoted to the LORD, that God wanted. He was someone God could use to do miraculous things.

Saul took to David immediately and raised him up from a shepherd to an armor bearer for him. The favor of God and Saul were upon him. And so the story of David defeating the giant Goliath came to be, when all others saw the size and strength of this man and fled out of fear and David stepped up to slay the Philistine.

The phrase the bigger they are the harder they fall seems to fit this situation so well. That term is nearly biblical! Pride comes before the fall...or the humble will be raised up while proud brought down. Do you see it? God is not interested in who we think we are but who He can be in and through us. Our strength or wisdom means nothing unless it comes through Him.

We can make ourselves to be people whom others think are the cat's pajamas. God see us so differently. When we give all ourselves to Him He will use us immeasurably. Not that it will be some big accomplishment, though. If all He did was huge things in our lives I think we would go back to being all puffed up...believing we accomplished.

God is so the opposite of the world view. When will we come down off our high horses and submit to the One who knows best? After all, He did the one thing unthinkable by today's standards. He came to earth to live among sinners so He could show Himself to us--yes us, sinners--that we might know Him. He knew from a very young age (even from the beginning of time) that He would die for each of us. And He withstood the most horrific rejection and death...all for us. He totally humbled Himself. He allowed Himself to be covered in our sin so He could die for it. He bore our sins and He carried them to the cross where they were then nailed. And all He wants in return is for us to acknowledge Him as that humble, yet powerful through obedience to the Father, Man, that we might have Him and His power within us.

Jesus Christ is the same today as He was then. He created the world with no more than His words. He lived, He died and He rose again. That means He is alive today and still looking for those willing to humble themselves, admit their sins and weaknesses and come to Him for their strength, wisdom, comfort and true life.

When will you do that? When will you let go of physical strength and allow God's supernatural strength to take over? David was small in stature but he knew where his strength and wisdom lay, through the LORD God. And despite his indiscretion, God's judgment, David's loss and eventual total repentance, He remained a man after God's own heart. God looks not at the outward appearance but the heart. Turn your heart over to Him and watch what He will do. Not by our own strength but by our trust in God's power.

Psalm 147:6,10-11 - The LORD lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground. He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He takes no pleasure in the legs of a man. The LORD takes pleasure in those who fear Him, in those who hope in His mercy. 

He Who Has Begun a Good Work

Philippians 1:6 - ...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ...

We all have unsettling days. I've gone through a few and there will be more to come. Yet, I will praise the Lord. Praise Him for the work He is doing, although I don't see it. Praise Him just because I know that what He does is always for good, not evil. Praise Him that He is the Lord of all and all evil is under His feet. Praise Him because I am His child and if He cares about a small sparrow, how much more does He care for me?

I've heard people say they were in a spiritual battle. I know people within our church who are in the midst of difficult times with no end that they can see. But God...knows. I would never have thought I'd be in a spiritual battle. I wasn't so sure this wasn't just something man made up to disguise whatever it was they had no way of explaining. But one day you awaken and know in your spirit something's not right. But the spiritual battle means there's some great victory in the end. It's what we can hold on to till we are through it.

You question God: Why do I feel like this? Is it something I've done wrong? Am I out of your will? Have I even been in it? Are You, Lord, in any of this? And if not, why not? You begin to question yourself: Am I doing too much or not enough? Is what I am doing worthwhile? Am I qualified? You plead for answers and hear nothing.

Here's the thing: there is an enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy. And no child of God is immune to his attacks. No one. He wants to undermine everything you do for God. He wants to whittle away at self-esteem, purpose, gifts. He wants to totally destroy you. And when you recognize this you have to tell him, in Jesus' name, he is not wanted and he must get out! And then you must remind yourself and this enemy who you are in Christ and what He has promised.

I've been battling fatigue for awhile. I've been battling a dryness in my soul. I've been feeling like God is distant. I've felt the Word has lost it's meaning. I try to read and it makes no sense...and yet when I hear a scripture it can bring tears of joy. Who can understand all this? Where do the blogs come from? Are they my mind writing or is God giving me the words? Am I writing truth or fiction?

In finally...finally...admitting this to a friend, she understood. It has happened to her. Was my pride holding back my feelings, wanting to only be seen as all together!? Was the reason I went home before going to Sunday service last weekend (in tears) part of this? Is this why I find it hard to get motivated? Even my blogs seem difficult to write. I have several sort of written but not really complete. Thoughts drift in and out but are never quite complete.

As my friend said, If you feel like weeping, weep. You don't know what intercession you might be in the midst of during it. But why do I not hear God; why do I not sense His presence? I feel so all alone. I feel lost. I feel like sleeping...

But God... Am I in my own what if, then moment, like Esther? But God... I know I'm a child of God. I know His promises for me. I know He will never leave me or forsake me. And here I am in this hole, a black emptiness surrounded by sleepiness...sometimes sleeplessness.

But God...and I took another look at the blog I wrote several days ago but only posted the other day. What I've been writing lately has come out of a heart in discord. I've been writing things that speak to my inner turmoil! Not just but God...but only God.

I poured my heart out to my friend in tears. Why am I going through this? Is this what a spiritual attack is? Her answers I already knew, but you tend to forget when you aren't tracking properly. One thought was God is getting ready to do something big. Another was what I'd heard and written about (many times) that can happen...God puts you through things to strengthen you...and when you come out of it, there's a change you would never have guessed was occurring (because you're sleeping through it all??). I thank my God He never slumbers nor sleeps!

But the thing to remember, what I needed to remember, is that I am a child of God. I am sealed by His blood. He began a good work and, by golly, He will see it to the end. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

My friend said I might be on the Lord's potter's wheel. He may be in the process of molding and shaping me. He may be wanting to work some things OUT of me...perhaps things I've clung on to for too long...or maybe wanting to work IN me. Insecurities, fear, doubt, pride...or the opposite of them. Hey, whatever it is, if I come out at the end of this internal battle with or without whatever, I WILL be praising God because I will know I didn't do it on my own...just like I write about.

But God, what if...then...ways of knowing He is for us and not against us. Ways to added trust in Him. Ways to put all confidence in Him. Ways to know that He stands all around you protecting just one more of His flock.

Lord, help me to hear and know without a shadow of a doubt that you are guiding my steps. Don't let me wander on my own. Pull me back when I go astray. Don't ever let me go. Strengthen me, open my ears to hear your voice more clearly. Show me when to act or when to speak and let me not falter or balk. Let my words be Yours, yes and amen. I don't want to do on my own. Thank You for my being able to admit weaknesses. 

Maybe some day I'll have another blog describing what I went through and for what reason. It's hard to see clearly now. I don't recognize my surroundings. I just walk one step at a time, praying He is alongside, guiding me and working that strength within me.

Isaiah 40:28-29,31 - Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. (And) those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. 

To that I say SELAH.

Psalm 3 -

Psalm 3 - Our Shield

Psalm 3:8 - Salvation belongs to the Lord. Your blessing is upon Your people. Selah

We all go through times of trials and testing. It's part of life.

I think of Job who lost all he had. He did not stop trusting in the Lord. I think about those in our own church who have prayer needs that seem to have gone unanswered and it's easy to wonder, God, why? And yet these people's lives, despite difficult situations and maybe even frustration, continue. They still hold fast, even if with wonder at how God will help them. Provision may not be exactly as they wish, but it is there for them, by God's hand. I think of my own seemingly small troubles and think either I am not struggling like others or I view my struggles differently...through the peace of God.

On the other hand, we have seen about four miraculous healings occur with members of our church over the past year. Prayers for these people were endless. And God was faithful. Why He chooses some and not others or all is only something He understands. He has reasons. We continue to trust in Him.

In Psalm 3 David was calling out to God for his life because of those who were against him as king, including his own ungrateful son, Absalom. Like Job he never let his trust and faith in God end. Instead, David continues to proclaim his God as a shield (he was not defeated). He realizes God hears his cries and he persists in praising Him for the peace and rest in these times of turmoil, for His provision, for His protection.

If we allow ourselves to praise Him in our times of stress, unsurety, anxiety, He will do the same for us. We will have that perfect peace knowing that no matter what happens, whether we are cut down by our enemy, destroyed by disease, in financial straits, or whatever is our turmoil, we can know where our strength and peace can come from.

David knew and trusted the Lord. He calls us all to do the same. He will hear the cries of our hearts, remind us of His promises, give us a peace that is indescribable. But these only come when we are focused on Him. We must first give up our own ideas of doing in our own strength and rely on God's. That only comes when we have received Him as our true Savior and know what He desires for us.

He came to save the world. We need to go to Him to be saved. He doesn't force us. It's our choice. Our troubles will not miraculously disappear but we will know where all hope lies. We will receive His blessings in this act of salvation. Take hold of it. Seek the Lord and He will lift up your head and provide the wherewithal to live your days in His perfect peace. Hard to explain, hard to comprehend, but it happens.

Psalm 3:3 - But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head.

Joy, Strength and A Faithful God

Psalm 27:1 - The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 

As I approach the end of a week where a feeling of dread has lingered, I wonder where it all began. Did I lose sight of the Lord? Did I turn my back in some way? Is He working something out...or into..me? Is He calling me to a greater depth in Him? Thankfully, it appears to be lifting. Scripture helps. Words of confidence and peace and wisdom.

Some day I might look back and know the answer. But for now it's simply trusting in Him. I will follow Him even when things seem dark. I might not see the path laid out before me but there is One on that path who sees very clearly and all I need to do is follow Him. 

I read an article that spoke to my heart. It was about temporary setbacks. Although it was speaking of work projects being put on hold because behind the scenes God needs to set things in place, I believe it also spoke of circumstances in life. 

Boyd Bailey the author of Wisdom Hunters daily devotional wrote: Obstacles become opportunities; adversaries become advocates; critics become cheerleaders; enemies become emissaries. And setbacks become a tremendous springboard for God’s will. Take heart, and keep your head up. It is darkest before the dawn. Hang in there with Jesus, and He will hold you up. Your Savior will sustain you. God’s purposes will not be thwarted, so believe it, and watch Him work. Amazing how he used similar words as a pastor in prayer on Sunday morning...keeping our heads up and walking tall, in the strength of the Lord.

No matter what the situation, if we trust God through it all, He will come through and we will be victorious. Maybe we need some added wisdom before we can proceed. Maybe we need rest. Maybe we need a strong word of admonition. Whatever it is, if we go to the Lord...with our hands open to receive from Him whatever it is...He will in His time show us, guide us and give whatever we need to move on. 

Funny how I later found out I was not the only one who had been feeling like this. Maybe it was no more than the promise of spring as we, in the Midwest, looked outside our windows and saw winter hanging on to every moment it could. Even seasoned Christians go through a time of weariness, wonder or doubt. It's just not often spoken of...as if it's something a person doesn't want to divulge can happen because we are in Christ, as if we aren't thrown for a loop every so often. 

Funny also how I after I had talked to my friend I watched a recorded Christian program. It spoke of the same thing...how we can doubt ourselves sometimes. But if we have not lost our desire to attend church or have not stopped contemplating the things of God, we are still secure in His hands. What a comfort to hear.

It's always easy to trust when things are going well. It's harder when we cannot see ahead or when our spirits are downcast, which can happen to anyone. But thankfully if we know Christ we can still hang on to the joy that is deep within our souls. We can dip into that wellspring and drink of the water of life and be refreshed.

What troubles you today? I dare you to go to God and ask what He might give to you that will remove the discomfort in your heart. Sometimes it's hard to rejoice when your heart is weary. But it's that joy that is deep inside that allows one to carry on in the midst of heaviness. Thank the Lord for His goodness and patience. Thank Him He has said He will never leave us. Thank You that You turn mourning into joy.

Psalm 5:11 - ...let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You. 

Another Cracked Pot

Psalm 31:12 - I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind; I am like a broken vessel.

This is how I felt for a day or two last week. Insecurities loomed. The idea of being alone was my friend...and worst enemy. And what does the enemy of my soul relish in? My insecurities. Who am I in Christ? Certainly not what I think I am...or what anyone else might think I am. I am in Christ and, therefore, no lesser nor greater than anyone else. In and through Jesus, I am who I am and no one can take that away. No one can talk that out of me, no matter how hard they want to. 

What cracked pots we are, aren't we all? Insecurity, too much security, too much pride, desiring too much control, wanting too much attention, too much complaining, too much a victim, fearing too much, always wanting the left hand to know what the right is doing. Oh, how we are all in need of a Savior. Some of these words were what I sent to an internet friend in Indiana! 

I admit...I was having a bad day and feeling so very insecure as I poured my heart out to her in a long email. Somehow it made me feel a bit better getting things off my chest. She listens (reads) and comments (writes). 

I have questioned myself how God can sit in the heavenlies on His great and glorious throne and look down upon us and see us, those who say we are in Christ, and wonder at how we can still be imperfect. It's almost like He has to turn a blind eye. But I know that's not what He does. Because His blood has covered us, He sees us who we can be. Our strength is only in Him. When we lose that strength it is important to get it back!

Since then I have been reminded how we are to be filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) and then it dawned on me, this is how he can look at us in our imperfect natures...because those are also God's nature. He exudes all these things. So why is it so hard sometimes to have all these qualities? Because we are imperfect. We are cracked pots. Some just don't vocalize it.

I see the cracks in my nature. And the beauty is...Jesus covered those cracks and flaws. He wants to fix our pots! His blood was poured out for me. And all I needed to do was receive the gift of Jesus into my heart for that to happen. There are still cracks in this old pot! I wonder often if the cracks will fill in or whether the pot will fall apart? Either way, God has a plan for fixing those cracks, whether it's mending them or starting all over from scratch on the Potter's wheel.

That's why Jesus is who He is. That's why we need to seek Him in the midst of our troubles instead of writing emails! I wonder how many others occasionally feel so ashamed of how they feel they can't go to the Lord? And I wonder how much He is saddened by that? At some time in each of our lives, whether we want to believe it or not, we are all cracked pots. Absolutely no one is exempt. 

Others may consider me less interesting or less knowledgeable, but I AM NOT inferior in Jesus' eyes. He is jealous after me. Just as others are His child, so I am. That cannot be taken away from me. He sees beyond my flaws and I'm so thankful. Doesn't matter what others think. Praise God for that! He's the only One who matters.

There are times when all I want is to be alone with the Lord. Alone, secluded and secure in Him. To relish in His presence, to listen to Him speak, to know that when others fail me, He will be there. He will strengthen me and gently, or strongly, rebuke my thoughts or actions. He will turn the thoughts around to His words and not my own or those of others. 

I love the Lord with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind. It may not show the same way as someone else, but I know in the recesses of my soul that I do. I know that I am His and He is mine. Do I still have work that needs to be done in me...yes, absolutely. I will trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding in that regard. Do I want a quick work? Another absolutely. I've waited a long time and I know there's a long time yet ahead of me. No matter what others think, the One who knows, the One who loves unconditionally, the One who will not leave me nor forsake me, is the One I will trust. 

So what happened to the woman who speaks of trusting the Lord? She's still inside. The old insecurities creep up time and again. As I thought about this I know I heard the still small voice within my spirit saying I never said it would be easy. If they rejected me they will reject you. It's your cross to bear. This was not a purposely hard word; just an honest one. Have I gone to the Lord since? Oh, yes. And as if he read my mind, a pastor early Sunday morning spoke these words in prayer: Whatever you have gone through, hold your head high and walk in the Spirit. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but we have a victorious Savior who has gone through it all. 

Thank you, Lord, for your love which is far greater than anyone else can give. Thank You for Your kindness and patience. Thank You for whispers of encouragement when they are needed most. Thank You that You are the Master Potter and that the cracks in my pot will be mended only by You. You know which cracks are most critically in need of repair. Take this old pot and mend it. Break it into bits if You must to start from scratch. Just mend it!

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. For in You, O LORD, I hope; You will hear, O Lord my God. (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 38:15)