Unplanned

2Thessalonians 2:11-12 - And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

I was asked by a friend to read a book. It is called Unplanned by Abby Johnson. I'm not quite finished with it but feel a need to jot some notes down and share.

Unplanned is about a young woman who began her early career in Planned Parenthood; first as a volunteer, then as director of one center. It was her desire that women would be able to secure other means to prevent unwanted pregnancies and avoid abortions. It was her belief that was what Planned Parenthood was all about. And it seemed to be until...finances were an issue and abortions became their bread and butter.

I read some reviews and while most were five star, there were some who totally believed the book was a crock! A disgruntled employee with an ax to grind. Of course, with conviction, in either case, one is going to believe what they want.

I got to the chapter A Holy Hush. Previous to this you could see how God was working in Abby's life, convicting her, opening her eyes. This is where I believe those who did not like the book miss the point. They have not been touched by God's amazing grace. She had a heart open to receive. She allowed Him to work in her and had some difficult circumstances to go through.

She started the chapter with the words: God is a great choreographer, isn't He? Oh yes He is. I can attest to that. I know others can also. He often takes us, one step at a time, to a place where we are open to receive what He has to show us. And I pray skeptics will see that day in their lives.

First we have to have a very strong belief in God, at least a strong desire at any cost to know Him. Abby had been asking for this. Along with that desire comes the knowledge of truth. That truth is what separates people. Either we want to know it...or we don't. Sometimes it is a bitter pill, the truth. We don't want to hear because it goes against what we believe, how we live. So the door to God closes.

She goes on...I see how perfectly He positioned me so that when my eyes were pried open by His fingers, I'd have the clearest possible view. She adds, Now that the scales had begun to fall from my eyes, the guilt of countless abortions, including my own two, came crashing down on my shoulders. Anyone touched by God so pointedly, as Abby was, knows that feeling, and knows she did not make any of this up.

It's always all about God. When we see the truth about what He says about anything we change. The poor moral lifestyle we had, the ability to make excuses for the things He says are wrong, because "society" deemed them too binding, caused truth to go out the window. It's partly why Jesus died...because the truth was too difficult for some to bear. Yet He died for all those sins...every one of them...whether one believes it or not.

The thing is...we don't always want to hear the truth. If we don't hear the truth, don't listen, we can live our lives as we wish. Well, this is a very sad truth. She brought up another thing...pride. We all struggle with it. What if what we've believed for so long is wrong? We hate being wrong, so we would rather live the lie? It all starts with the truth Jesus spoke. It is eye-opening. It reveals the sins we've worked so hard to cover up. It's no doubt why the road is narrow that leads to eternal life.

Many call themselves Christians. But if they disagree with God's commands, are they really?  God creates all things. Abortion is murder. If He brought forth a life, no matter by what means, who are we to despise His creation? I know there are arguments as to when life is conceived. Conception is by God's hand; it is immediate...and good. What right do we have, as God's creations ourselves, to go against His Word?

Do we all perfectly keep His commandments? No. But if something becomes so blatantly clear, and we ignore it, we have gone against His command. Jesus, however, is merciful, and if we humble ourselves to confess these sins to Him, He will forgive us. If we confess any sin to Him, if it is truly heart felt, He will forgive us. He will show us what truth is. If we humble ourselves before an almighty God, and submit to Him, eternal life through Christ will happen. Despite all we've done, He will forgive, if....

Heavenly Father, I know for me it seems a daunting task for Your intervention into others' lives, but it is not a big task at all for You. Reveal Your truth to those who struggle with it. Soften hearts of unbelievers that they may know You. Change their hearts, O God.

Daniel 4:37 - ...praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, all of whose works are truth, and His ways justice. And those who walk in pride He is able to put down.

Selfish or Selfless?

Matthew 18:1-5 - At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me."

Isn't it just like us to question if we are better than someone else? Oh, the pride. The thing is, none of us are better than another. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. All of us. And to think otherwise is also pride. We are to come as little children. I've said this many times before. Jesus loved the little children. They were important to Him. He did not cast them aside.

Anyway, that's just the intro to this whole thing! This is something I have contemplated writing for a very long time...and I have had this written for several days. Today I am owning it. I love my new church (of a year now), The Church in Wisconsin. I have often wondered how God would have planted this church in my path and why because it is filled with young families and lots of children and babies, as well as the truth of God's Word, which is very important!

I did not have children and never learned how to deal with them. I was raised an only child, to add to the history (spoiled, selfish). I have, in the past, thought some babies were cute but never wanted much more to do with them. I managed to steer clear of them. Maybe it was a hidden defense of mine...stuff down what you have not had so it won't hurt. Logical defense mechanism.

For a very long time I've had a secret, known only by a very few people. Long before I was born again...before I received Christ...back before my first marriage, when I was young and foolish and vulnerable, I allowed myself to be swayed. I did an unthinkable thing. I had an abortion. That is very hard to write.

I was five months from getting married. To be honest I don't know whose idea it was. I can surmise but I don't want to. It happened. I believe I have forgiven all in this situation, including myself. I know when I received Jesus one day, my sins, and this one in particular, were forgiven. And only He could have orchestrated years later a very real, wonderful encounter with Jesus as I fed and burped probably the only baby I ever did this to.

Not until I joined this delightfully life and love filled church did I start to warm to children. Not the first few weeks but in time. These children are not farmed off to a nursery so parents can "enjoy" their worship and sermon, maintaining they can be more focused on the worship and sermon. No, these children are part of the family. When I say we are a family, that's what it is, the way it should be. How I love these children!

When I first started attending I couldn't tell whose children were whose because there is a lot of sharing and loving going on! When one family isn't able to attend church because of work or sickness, another family will bring their children. There is so much lack of self. Do I wish I'd had even one child? Yes. You grow differently. Self is not as important. Such an important part of being a true Christian. 

As Jesus said, become as little children to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Jesus loved the little children. He rebuked His own disciples for wanting them out of His way. I wonder if He would suggest putting them in a peer environment? Children are like sponges, aren't they? Aren't we surprised at what they understand even at a very young age? Why shouldn't they learn how to act in church as children; why shouldn't parents learn how to discipline and children learn to be displined?

What does any of this have to do with my admission? I am sorry that I had to lose a child, to grow from that point into believing children are a waste of time and only take away from the things we wanted to do, that it was okay to not have children. As I did a search on the phrase (which I never came across) that was so prevalent in those days, I came across site after site proclaiming that purposely not having children was admirable, not selfish, that there was a completeness without them, that people could have it all without children, that children tie them down. I can't even comprehend what God thinks of these statements.

Just my thinking, but Jesus did not want those children removed. He said, for of such is the kingdom of God. Again, children were important to Him. To add to that, the Bible states abortion is murder. Imagine what He must think today about all the people willing to give up a child because it is inconvenient. And I get it about rape; there is still adoption. Sadly, I can add murder to my list of sins....yet which has been forgiven of me by my receiving Christ (in addition to other sins).

I think about how different my life would have been, how I'd have grown up less selfish, giving more, loving more. Perhaps that is why I am at The Church in Wisconsin, to learn to grow more into these attributes, which are more Christ-like attitudes. I pray it is so. I believe I came to Christ as a child, willing to accept what was in the Bible. Willing to believe all that Jesus said and what was written by various individuals, in both Old and New Testaments, by the Spirit of God. 

I have come to grips with my indiscretion and sin(s) of years ago. I have come to realize that not only is this child in heaven but that we will be reunited some day. I learned back then to be hard hearted and maybe I still need some healing. I pray more of that would be chipped away that I would become a softer person. Yet...Jesus lovingly did in the Spirit for me what He did for real with children...He took them...and me...up in His arms...and showed His love for me...despite what I did. That's a whole other story.

If Christ is able to forgive me of this, He is able to open anyone's eyes to their indiscretions, whatever they might be, and forgive anyone. He is in the forgiving, saving, redeeming and sanctifying business (but first He has to show you the yuck). And if we do not ever get to this place of admitting our sin, turning from it and leaning on Christ, we will encounter the wrath of God. And He is most desirous for all to come to Him as a little child asking for forgiveness. You cannot imagine the peace and freedom that comes from letting go of those things that so consume. We must allow ourselves to go to Jesus as a child and take Him in. What joy and peace there is. 

Now to press the "publish" button...

Mark 10:13-16 - Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them. 

Our Mind is a Battlefield

Exodus 20:13-15 - "You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal."

We look at these commandments and tell ourselves we have not done such things. The word tells us that if we have done such and such...then we have. Explanations to follow!

I was talking with a couple friends the other morning and we realized that we who think like we do are definitely in the minority and no doubt are looked upon as prudes. But then that's what the Bible says is going to happen in the last days. So we must learn to not care what others think of what we know to be truth. It's our "cross to bear."

Murder--chances are none of us personally know anyone in prison or death row for this but the Bible tells us...if we have even thought in our minds we hated someone we have committed murder in our heart.

Adultery-- we may not commit the actual act but if we allow our minds to look lustfully at someone, even if we have no plan to fulfill that lust, we have also committed the act in our heart. Hard words.

Stealing-- we may not even have walked out of a store with unpaid for merchandise but consider the extra few minutes you've taken for lunch or break at work. Or consider the pen or notepad you absconded with for personal use. Was there an excuse? "They don't pay me enough so..." or "everybody does it; even the managers," its still stealing from your employer.

I would venture to say that not spending time with God could be counted as a form of stealing. He created us for His pleasure that we would commune with Him. When we ignore Him it could be stealing time away from our Heavenly Father to do our own thing. He gave us this time on earth. We owe Him some of our time.

In a Bible study we're doing a quote by E.M. Bounds states: Our laziness after God is our crying sin. The children of this world are far wiser than we. They are at it early and late. We do not seek God with ardor and diligence. No man gets God who does not follow hard after Him, and no soul follows hard after God who is not after Him in early morn.

The mind is a battlefield. How easy it is for us to justify what we do daily. The enemy says it's okay to do this or that mentioned above...even taking time away from God. That's his whole purpose...to distract us or lie to us.

Isaiah 55:7 - Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

Let me tell you, I'm not perfect! Sometimes my priorities get mixed up. Sometimes I make up for "lost" time the next day, if that's possible! Some days I'm just delayed. I'm the one missing out on the blessings. Thankfully, God does pardon and sometimes shows His pleasure by wonderful time spent with Him.

We fall into an Adam and Eve type scenario when we allow ourselves to go about whatever our hearts choose, or whatever we allow ourselves to believe is okay to do--and fall into temptation. Our mind is a battlefield. What we allow to go through our minds or allow our eyes to see can cause the mind to struggle with right or wrong...seriously. We can't arrogantly believe we are not prone to do evil. It is part of our sin nature. It all started in the Garden with a simple lie, something that takes hold in our mind and causes us to struggle.

The Bible is our guide. Romans 12:2 and Ephesians 5:26 says And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect...That He might sanctify and cleanse ... with the washing of water by the word. The Word steers us in the right direction and enlightens us to the truth.

I may be viewed as a goofball with some of the things I come up with. I can only hope that I am writing the truth of God's Word. If I am then I am assured that God does not see me as that goofball! I try to portray a picture of what God's thoughts are... His ways are not like ours, so we should not be judging what He tells us is truth. 

Isaiah 55:8-9 - "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.