Wait and See

Psalm 73:26 - My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I've been somewhat burdened in my heart about our church. We have gone through several difficult times ... or has it just seemed like times when in actuality it's been a constant thing and there have just been times of respite? Whatever the case, if feels like we are in a place where we are about as low as we can go! It seems the only way is up and the only way up is by God's hand outstretched to pull us up. Man can do nothing right now. And yet there's also a realization that we could still have more difficulties ahead.

There have been changes and changes and more changes. I believe that is good despite being in the midst of what seems unsettling. And this is not to say I am always burdened. I still enjoy fellowshipping in Sunday school and enjoy the fresh messages and style of a new pastor and the in-depth Bible studies we have in Women's Ministries.

Yesterday as I was driving home from running a couple errands I was thinking again...or was it yet...about how long we've waited to sense the true presence of God in our church. Was I missing something? Has everyone? I recalled years ago when the sifting and shaking began under the leadership of a new pastor. People left in clumps. Some were friends to me, this somewhat new, yet beginning to grow, Christian. I looked up to these women. I wanted to be like them.

And then they left. And I sensed they left with the wrong heart attitude and I was confused. I pleaded with God, "What am I supposed to do? Am I missing something here? Why do I not feel I should leave? Who am I, Lord, still learning, to recognize the attitudes of these mature Christians? Might not all that is happening be part of Your will...and they don't see it? Might You have been determined to move them on to another level somewhere else? Might You have needed them in another church?" Oh, the questions. 

I'll tell you, I was confused. I know we are none of us perfect and prone to let our human emotions take over...if we are not first seeking God in whatever the circumstance might be. I just didn't get it!

So on my way home yesterday the barrage of thoughts. And that still small voice that I mentioned yesterday reminded me once again of what He had said years ago as an answer to all my questions. The answer back then wasn't exactly definitive about why these people left because I think I already knew, but He was concerned just with me for the moment. As if He were right next to me I heard: "I want you to stay, dig in your heels, get involved and watch what I'm going to do." Wow, talk about a wake up call! In essence, wait on Him but busy myself in that wait.

So, like I said, yesterday I was reminded of those words about waiting to see what He was going to do. As they crept through my mind, I opened my mouth and out loud said, "But God" and stopped immediately. I don't know if I stopped myself or God did. I just clamped my mouth shut, knowing I shouldn't--or couldn't--go on. I might even have put my hand over it. And the words came to me again, gently yet firmly, "Wait and see what I am going to do."

That little exclamation...but God! It has two meanings. For me yesterday it meant "How long, O Lord?" Today I realize "but God" means nothing is impossible with God, He's still in control, trust in Him, and He is able...wait on Him.

If you are waiting for that one thing, or more, for God to move on, know that He's not finished. There are things He still needs to do to behind the scenes, occurrences need to happen, people to set in place...or removed...even more personal pruning, for everything to be just according to His timely-mannered plan. He knows what needs to be done. If we knew it too, and understood why we needed to wait, we wouldn't need to rely on Him. We would not need to trust Him. He's never too early or too late. The wait will be worth it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.