How Much is Enough?

1 Corinthians 13:1-2 - Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 

This is truly a rambling day....those last words are hard...I am nothing. I speak about the Lord, the importance of relationship with Him, knowing Him with every fiber of our being, trusting in Him for all things in life. We are absolutely nothing without Him. And that's where most in the world are...nothing without Him, lost without realizing it.

But then the thought comes to mind...I've missed something in my life. I've missed having siblings, as much as some have difficulties with theirs. I've missed being a parent. Those are times where true love is built up within a person. I've missed not knowing how to fully care for someone, how to share my life and time. I learned how to take care of myself having been an only child. I've had only rare occasions to truly get close to someone. I find it so easy to be on my own doing my own thing. But is that healthy? Aren't we supposed to share our time with others? Where's the love in independence? Where's the sharing?

Without constant, close association to others how do I learn to love with all my heart? How do I fully grasp the concept of an Almighty God and spiritual Father who loves me more than anyone else ever could? It's hard, especially when my earthly father was pretty much "absent" in my life until it was too late. No wonder I'm drawn to independence.

I believe with all my heart I am longing and will always long for my Heavenly Father. But how do I know for sure when I missed close connection and understanding with my earthly father? When you have not known your father or have lost a father and missed all this, how can you imagine the love of God?

The story of the prodigal son comes to mind. His son chose to leave the household, take his inheritance and live as he saw fit. He squandered his money and eventually realized his mistake. He humbled himself and went back home. I'm sure all the time he wondered if his father would forgive him or whether he would allow him to set foot in that house again. But when he was still some distance from home, his father recognized him and ran out to meet him, arms wide open. This is what our Heavenly Father, once we have received Him, will do for us. It's hard to imagine anyone doing this for us...how can we imagine a Heaven Father doing it? That's real love.

That's how we should be in all our dealings with all the people we come into contact with. We love them. We are to love our enemies! So the thought that comes to my mind is how do I know how much I love? God commands us to love one another as He has loved us. How much is enough? There are times when it's easy to love; other times when I should and I can't. Sometimes I do and I don't, like a love/hate relationship, which shouldn't be in the first place! I'm thinking I'm in a place right now where the Lord needs to work with me on this. Our love is to be patient, kind, not envious, boastful or proud. Maybe it isn't where the Lord needs to work with me but that God is wanting or going to do this in my life.

I've read one thing after another lately and the Lord has shown me each time...it all boils down to this love. I might love for a season. I might love some. But has love conquered my soul? Maybe I just don't recognize what it looks like. Who will ever tell me where I lack? Without love...I am nothing. That's a hard word for me. I don't want to be without love...in my own heart for others. I need it from God but I also need to be able to do it.

The Bible is all about love. God created the world that we might have a "lovely" place to live. He created us that He might commune with us and show us His love. He sent His own Son down from Heaven to live among us. Jesus is love. He exuded love, He shared His love, He was our example. God loved us so much that when we were yet sinners, He gave us Jesus to die for us. The greatest Commandment is that we love the Lord with all our heart, soul and mind and the next one is to love one another as we love ourselves. How do we know when we do this? How do we know if we love ourselves...and is it a good love of ourselves?

I know I can't blame my parents for lack of showing love; they had their own problems, their own family upbringing, which is predominantly that self-restraining German type! They withheld. I think many come into relationships with baggage. And sometimes instead of discussing these things we push them deeper and deeper down as if to hide them, hoping they will go away. But what does God do? He reminds us! He will bring up things that we might think on them and think about what He has to say about it, listen to His voice. He's calling this to my attention!

I recently heard a woman's account of how she spent four intense hours with God. He allowed her to see that she was no more than a pile of ashes but out of those ashes came a figure of gold, pure and refined. Our lives must become nothing more than a pile of ashes before the Lord. It is in this time that He works to refine us. The difficulties in our lives, the tears we cry, all are part of the refining process. And we should be thankful for those times. 

I pray that God will refine the very basic emotion of love in my life, that He show me what He requires of me. I just want genuine love for all people, at all times. I want God's heart of love for all people. Psalm 34 says The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Let my plea be for this broken heart and contrite spirit.

I know there is a day coming when all God's children will need to have this heart because of the things happening in this world. A heart of criticism or without compassion will not do. There is a shoe about to drop and we need to be ready. We need to be able to share God's love with a world that is lost and headed for destruction. Right now I sense we are in a time of waiting for the Lord to move. We are to be ready now, but something's ahead where we will have to move. While we wait maybe we need to be refined, in whatever area we need. There is something in each of us that needs to be dealt with. For me that first a refining in my own heart, that I might have His heart with His love, the only action that truly counts.

Psalm 34:13-16 - Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.