Lord, Is It I?

Matthew 26:21-22 - Now as they were eating, He said, "Assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me." And they were exceedingly sorrowful, and each of them began to say to Him, "Lord, is it I?"

I listened to a moving sermon about Judas, yet what the pastor said might seem odd.

Jesus chose the twelve who would become His apostles, whom He would train, whom He would be with to see Him work miracles, hear Him preach. And Judas was one of these men. These men came from various backgrounds, all had flaws. Peter was impetuous, Thomas doubted, Matthew was a tax collector whom people generally frowned upon. Others were mere fishermen without training. All were chosen by Jesus. He did not choose those of importance, but these men, for the most part, became great. We are never told what Judas did prior to being chosen to become an Apostle. It is assumed he was a thief and that money was important to him.

Did Judas have a motive for following Jesus? Did he believe Jesus could not see through him? Did Judas not get Jesus' preaching? Was he not affected by the miracles and the fellowship with the others? So many questions.

A known truth was pointed out: no one is perfect. And not any of the disciples/apostles were. We are only perfect through Jesus Christ when we receive Him into our lives and our hearts are transformed. This world has a wrong view of what God supposes. He does not look at the good things we do, whether we consider ourselves good persons because we donate money to or back worthy causes. Have we given ourselves to Christ? That’s what He’s looking for. 

There is a painting of Jesus knocking on a door. I’ve brought this up before. It has been said that the artist missed something. Take a look at this picture........

What is missing is a door knob. When asked by someone how he missed it, the artist said he didn't. Jesus knocks on the door of our hearts, but we are the ones who will open it. He is not going to barge right in. It's our choice to receive Him. And so it was with Judas. He lived, walked, watched and listened to Jesus. But he never allowed Jesus entrance into his own life. Even though people attend church, do good things, doesn't make them followers of Christ, the pastor said. 

We think we can hide ourselves and our lives and lifestyles from God, but He knows. He knows. And one day we will be standing face to face with God, accountable for every action, every word, every thought. We will see the truth of who we have been. We will even see how wrong we were about how good we thought we were! This is something we should be concerned about today. 

Judas spent much time with Jesus but he would not allow himself to be changed. He lived a lie all the while he was in Jesus' presence. I'm certain none of the other disciples knew it; they just thought he was one of them, believing as they did. And it's the same way in our churches. The outward appearance may be spot on, but Jesus knows the heart. 

At the Passover meal Jesus told the disciples what would happen. He told them He would be arrested, He would have to die, that one in particular would betray him. All His followers were worried. They each exclaimed, "Lord, is it I?"  My, how Judas exemplified what we do when we make the choice not to follow Him seriously. I might have asked the same question. Might we sometimes feel like this also? That's why Jesus came, to put that doubt behind us. Each of these men made a choice; eleven were the right choice and one was not. How many times are we confronted with this choice only to put Jesus aside? I’m so thankful that the Bible is filled with stories of failed individuals. We can learn from them, based on what happens to them. Judas died...Peter became great, some were humbled for a good outcome. 

Judas eventually was sorry for what he had done; he chucked the 30 pieces of silver back at the captors basically saying he didn't want "the blood money." He did not repent of what he had done; he did not go to Jesus. He was only sorry about what he had done. No change took place even before he hung himself. No doubt in anyone's mind where he has ended up.

I think about the two thieves on either side of Jesus at His crucifixion. One’s end was not good, like Judas; the other realized his sinful condition and repented. Jesus pardoned the repentant thief. I love this story.

We cannot pretend about our faith and trust in Jesus Christ. It doesn't work. Saying a prayer one time to receive Jesus isn't the only answer. It's living it out. It's being determined to listen to God speak and be in communication with Him. It's dying to self. It's enduring till the end.

Like Judas, there will be many who will reject that knock on the door of a heart. I don't need Him. He's only a myth. I'm a good person on my own. I don't like having to bow to a higher authority or Authority. I'm all the authority I need. I don't want to change; people will notice, I will lose friends. 

There's more to this story, though. One that puts things into perspective. God knows the beginning from the end and He knows who will choose His Son and who will not. Jesus knew Judas was to betray Him, but He chose him just the same. Maybe He thought Judas would change; but probably not. Some just do not. It had to happen to fulfill the prophecy of His death. This is sad...knowing some just will not make the choice. The account is one more example we are to learn from. 

Isaiah 55:6-7 - Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.